if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
