we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
