Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
