It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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