Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
