Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
