All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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