the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
