and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
