There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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