I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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