Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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