All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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