it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
