it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
