He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
