Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's blow job season.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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