How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize