Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
