FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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