I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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