Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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