i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
