Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
