just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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