Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
