if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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