If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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