brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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