My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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