i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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