im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
