you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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