I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
