I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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