Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
