first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
