in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
