Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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