Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
