SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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