Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
