is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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