we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
