just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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