Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish you could order shots online.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
