I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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