: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
