i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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