How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
