Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm bleeding and have questions
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
