So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
