I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
