can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
