whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
