A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dick has a subreddit
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
