I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is Oprah even human
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize