we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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