Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this boner is exhausting
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
