he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
