can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
