I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
