You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
