sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
