i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize