some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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